Last time I posted, I was only thinking about retirement. Now, I have experienced my first year of retirement.
Leading up to retirement was kind of like being in a fantasy: I will sleep late! I will finally get to those closets! I will travel! I will read! I will binge-watch all the shows I wanted to watch before! And, my favorite: I will stay up late!!!
Then, reality hit. I have been a schedule-oriented person for the past 26 years. The routine, the students, the teachers, the school climate were a part of me, and retirement was more difficult than I anticipated (except for the staying up late - love that!).
The first few months felt like summer. I didn't feel any different. The first days of school workshops, I went to NYC and felt like I was playing hooky. The first day of school was a big production. I had on my new "retirement jammies" that stated: "I can't adult today (tomorrow doesn't look good either). I had my new coffee mug, a retirement gift from a friend, that read: "The Adventure BEGINS!" Pictures were taken and posted to social media and my husband and family were off to spend a long weekend on the lake.
I did miss lugging in my bags into the classroom and getting things in place. I missed seeing my teacher friends. I missed the happy feeling the school halls instilled. I missed smiling at the students in the hall and saying, "Hi!" to my previous students.
I didn't miss the first two days of school which, because our school is on the 8 block system, consisted of two full days of going over the rules and ice-breakers. Teachers are actors! We look excited when we are, in fact, feeling bad for our students while going through the necessities.
After this initial time period, I felt lost. I didn't know what to do with myself and because of that, I was fighting depression. I refused to give in. I went for nature walks, I went to the mall and walked - yes, I had decided mall walking wasn't so bad -I had lunch with retired teacher friends who told me 1) "You're crazy. I didn't miss a step once I left the school building," or 2) "You will grow into it."
By October, I was still having some issues. I placed my resume on Indeed. Guess what??? Resumes aren't what they were 27 years ago. I am an English teacher and writer, and I thought I could BS my way through anything. I found I really didn't have the words to build myself up to look good on the resume. My daughter told me what I was doing wrong, but I didn't care.
Finally, I decided to go back to my roots. I headed to our community college, talked to the English Department Head and asked for an adjunct job. I didn't even have to fill out an application. It was mine. The only thing was I had waited too long. The Spring Semester was full, so I would have to wait for the Fall Semester. Okay, I am good with that.
In January, I started subbing in my old high school. I really enjoyed it. I didn't have to make the plans or the rules. I would step in and interact with the kids and teach the lesson and leave with no responsibilities. Also, because I joined "Jobulator," I would get a job alert on the app and could accept or decline. Woo Hoo!! Much easier than in the old days when the principal would call at 5:30 a.m. It was easier to choose to accept/decline on an app than to talk to the person on the phone when I didn't want to go in but felt I couldn't turn down the job. With retirement, I can choose, and I like that.
In the meantime, I was trying to get ready for my new English instructor job. I enjoyed the planning but felt I didn't have much direction. Teachers like feeling in control and knowing what is expected, but I wasn't feeling that way. Maybe because of the newness.
Anyway, in June, a little over a year of retirement, for no explainable reason, I called a real estate school to ask about classes. Seemingly off-topic, I had also just gotten an 8 week old, miniature Dachshund that I was not planning on leaving home alone. I wanted to know about online classes. The lady said, "You do NOT want to take this class online." I told her my situation with my puppy, and she said, "Bring him. We've had puppies in class before." WHAT??? Okay. So my puppy and I went to Real Estate School. One week of class (my puppy slept most of the time and was the class mascot -ha) and two additional weeks of 8-12 hour days of study time and I passed the test the first time. Hardest test of my life! I kid you not!!
Today, I am working hard to stay caught up with what my two classes need, but I am enjoying the research and planning and the two days a week. My real estate license has not been used, yet, but once I am settled and comfortable with my college classes, I will pursue it more, which is scary and exciting.
My true love is education. Teaching in a community college is much better for me. The students want to be there (for the most part). The choices are theirs as adults, and I like giving up that responsibility.
The first year of retirement was rough for me. I had to do something, so I searched until I found a place I thought I could find fulfillment. I was not able to go Cold Turkey, like some. I will say it has been an adventure, but I did have to continue to "adult."
Thanks for hanging with me this far. I do hope to get back into writing. Hopefully, it won't be so long between posts.
